Every single person in the world is either searching or has searched for someone or something to fill us up and make us whole. I know that I certainly have.
As a society we are so disconnected from our emotions. We are bombarded with an array of distractions. Medications, “reality” TV, bright colours, football, magazines, alcohol, fast food, a 9-5 job so we don’t have the time to think. Anything…. anything to keep us from truly feeling.
Feeling anything but happy or flat is demonised in our society. We see certain emotions as “bad”. In my opinion, there is no such thing as a “bad” feeling. Only an uncomfortable one. And why are we so afraid of discomfort?
Wherever you go, there you are
Why are we so determined to run away from it and back into our comfort zones where it’s cosy and safe and we don’t have to think too much, feel too much or grow too much? We are absolutely terrified of the unknown because no one has ever assured us that it’s safe to immerse ourselves in feeling. But if we never feel it then we can never heal it.
There is profound information in those seemingly “bad” feelings. What are they trying to tell you? We must all go through the breakdown before the true breakthrough.
Every single person on this planet has a story. Whether you like to feel them or not... admit them or not. As a shaman, when a client comes to me for advice and they begin to open up and we start to travel a little deeper, past the surface and into the actual wounds, I feel a little pang of joy!
This may seem bizarre to some. But given my own experience with suffering and healing, I know that without taking the first step you’re never going to get well. The first step is getting past the surface level of “I feel bad”, “I feel sad” and actually being honest and raw about your feelings.
Suppressing is only postponing
Feeling the anger without suppressing it, feeling the sadness without blocking it and truly getting to the gut wrenching emotions behind the “I feel sad” label. When you finally allow yourself to feel it - and I mean truly feel it without choking it back, distracting yourself, or taking pills or drugs to numb the pain - you’re on your first step to a profound healing journey. Your pain deserves to be acknowledged and felt so that you can let it go.
I’m not saying that it’s easy. It’s a roller coaster and once you’re on it, you’re on it. But it’s going to utterly change your life if you’re ready to take the ride. None of us need that someone or something to fill us up and make us whole. The answers are already inside of us.
Holding space for others is truly important
It’s important that we have ample support around us when on the healing journey though. Whether that is your local shaman, a healer, a friend, the Samaritans or a family member.
Holding space for others is a beautiful experience, but not for everyone. Holding space is about loving people in all of their complicated and messy human glory and allowing them to truly be themselves without closing it down.
However, since most of us cannot allow ourselves to be uncomfortable for too long without running back into the comfort zone, it’s also uncomfortable for us to see others in pain, hence we cannot always hold space for people in pain.
You often hear people saying “don’t cry” to their friends. We can’t bear to hear their true, raw pain and instead we kindly ask that they suppress it. Why is this? It is so ingrained in us. Why don’t we want to see each others bruises and battle scars? We are so afraid to be raw, to speak honestly about our feelings and our deepest fears.
Be raw, be real, be human
I want to hear it all. Tell me about your worst fears, tell me what it is that you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night. Tell me how you lost, how they left, how you loved. We have all had a moment that has forced our hearts to grow or break. It is what makes us human.
It is in this moment that our whole world will collapse. From destruction can only come creation. So in a way, this destruction is truly beautiful. The crumbling of the old and the birthing of the new. When we fall to our knees we will rise anew again at some point and it’s all with purpose.
One day you look back at your battles and the lessons finally begin to sink in. Without my traumas, I wouldn’t be here today helping others to face and heal theirs.
So the question is:
Are you ready to find out what you’re made of? To brave the storm? To see what humans are capable of handling? And to finally find out how strong you truly are?